a tale...

About a month and a half ago I met this great girl. It was a situation where I just saw her walking around school, she lived in the dorm, had a semi punk thing going on. Well one day she was sitting in the lobby and I ask her what music she was listening too. Well it all started from there. The music brought us together. Well, she was always going to the soccer teams cottages and they were lying to her and using her to their own gain. She told me everything, literally everything that went on. I finally told her about my feelings one night and to quote her, "we are soulmates but we will never date". It hurt me deeply. I had been developing feelings for her, I told her, like a person should. Part of me knew that nothing would ever happen, but there was that hope, that something would work. If it is true that oppisites atract then we were it. But she refused to understand, she lives in her own little world. Well I wanted her to stop, if she liked it or not, so what happened? Well I told some of the authority figures about what had been going on at the cottages and I told a friend we was in the middle of it, but she didn't know it. Well, sad part is, nothing I said ended it all, no. It ended when she was at one of the soccer guy's cottages and he came in to find her there, and told her to get out. She refused, and he called campus security on her, and now she can't go over there, not within 50 ft. of the cottages.

After that happened, she has simply looked right through me, blaming me for I guess, "ruining her chances with the soccer guys" when all of them think she is a freak and a stalker. She will sit down and talk to everyone around me, but she simply won't look upon me. I still catch myself looking at her, I find myself thinking, she would like this band, she would like this movie, I find myself thinking about her! I realized tonight, that I was actually in love with her. I was in love with this girl, that I would have been willing to do anything for her, and she knew it, and she used me as a walking diary dispite knowing how I felt about everything. How I felt about her. But the sad part is, even though I know she has problems mentally, and she is a liar and she is manipulative, I didn't care. I was in love with this girl and I was willing to do anything for her. I still would do anything for her. I was in love with Niki, and I still am in love with her.

Kinda sad I guess,
Post later....

down time

Well, I've got some down time. SA 202 got fucked royally today. The sheet he gave us to study, had nothing to do with what was on the test. So yeah I fucked that test up pretty good. I went to BIO 101 which is actually interesting now! Considering it is over the Ecosystem currently. Fun stuff the ecosystem, I'd like to visit a tundra region one day. COM 101 was a bore, nothing interesting in class, why? I did not get to get up and bullshit my class like usual, I do so love politics, your paid not to tell the whole truth, although that does go against my beleifs as a Christian.

Anyway, got to hang out with my friend Jen a little last night, she is a great girl, a really good friend. She is an art major, with a minor in communication and she is graduating next semester, then she is going to U.S.A. to get another B.A. in film! I hope maybe I see her a big director or something one day, that would be cool.

The usual bullshit is going on today. My roommate slept through class, I have some crap thing I'm required to go to, and I've got study for me stuff for class. I still don't have shit for my EN 101 paper, I've offically said screw that paper. It is full of shit and I'll just try to pull off a perfect final and at least get my C I want in there. Tomorrow, and this is the really weird part about my school. We are in MOBILE ALABAMA, they are going to bring down snow and have a snow building contest in front of the main hall! IT IS MOBILE ALABAMA, SNOWMAN BUILDING CONTEST, WTF?! As if students don't have enough to do with studying, heaven forbid. Anyway, Post later....

the plot....

Well, I will fulfill me promise of buying this girl her christmas gift, the plot is to simply get a bag, place the gift inside with a card telling a comment, which I will inform my friends only of later. I will then simply let things be.

Update on Health Final: we walked in thinking it was multiple choice, like the mid-term, and it was fill in the blank. You do the math....